http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jozh6/could_you_stay_in_a_relationship_where_the/
SubhanAllah. I'm really disgusted by people who can blame her for not leaving sooner! They were probably the same people who would have blamed her if she left. As someone who has run from an abusive home, I understand fully the many barriers that lay upon a woman, and anyone with children has it much worse. I honestly am saddened, because although the barriers reach the sky, its possible to leave, she could be alive now but she didnt have a group like us, and I'm so heart broken about that.
Please check out the Facebook Online Muslimah Abuse Support Group for other women with like ideas to help you out!
I was asked if I had any advice for women battling the stigmas of others.
I put it in my mind that I was right about my decision to leave, and just didnt let anyone sway me. No matter the crazy inventive things people have said, excuses, stories, I hold fast to the fact that I was being abused and needed a safe place, cause I -deserve- that.
I had people ask me why I left, and I refused to divulge because people are ignorant about what abuse is, and wouldnt understand to begin with what its like to be literally tortured with the games people play. The response to that was often, 'Well I dont believe it was that bad.' And to that I say, 'Good for you' and move on with my day, unphased by their ignorance, because at the end of the day -I- and only -I- has a true knowledge of whats best for -me-, and no one else has the right to make that decision for me, or tell me to make another decision.
My mom will always say 'What will the people say about what your doing?' and my reply is 'Well screw the people!' and I can hold fast to that too. Sorry for the language but thats how I feel. For the little group of Arabs gossiping at Jummah, is that who imma live my life for? Is it? I stand with the believers of compassion, justice, respect, the true submitters of Allahs will, and no one else.
And even then, unfortunately I feel like I have to educate my community, my Imam is so disgustingly ignorant, God help him, its not his fault, but its hurtful to go to his office and have him give 'advice' that basically puts me in the line of danger. I maintain that anyone who tries to control you is dangerous, its not natural, and its a serious mental diffiencey to wanna control something outside you. Anyone who going to beat fear and submission into my can go fly the highest kite.
In short. Just never second guess yourself. Take a look at the 'Power Control Wheel', google it. See what abuse you fit into, most of us dont even realize it is abuse. Decide for yourself that you deserve better, and never look back.
