AMAZING TALK: Hijab for Men and Women Lecture n Q&A - Zahra Al-Alawi

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Man Murdered in Dundas, Not News Worthy.

"Hamilton police have identified the man who was killed after being run over Thursday night in Dundas. Mark Hermz, 26, of Hamilton died after a woman drove a vehicle over him at the corner of Old Guelph Road and Patterson Road in the Pleasant View area around 7 p.m. He was pronounced dead at the scene. The homicide unit was originally called in to help with the investigation, but is no longer involved. Regional coroner Dr. Jack Stanborough called the case “complex” and added the “cause and manner of death” are still under investigation by police and his office. No charges have been laid and the collision reconstruction unit continues to investigate. "

I first heard about this story in a small little blurb in The Hamilton Spectator, it was hardly newsworthy apparently because I guess the lives of men really mean nothing these days. I am appalled more and more these days when people (generally women, and generally feminists) try to make the claim that men are the perpetrators of most violent crimes. There have been so many cases such as these in the past and many to come in the future of WOMEN committing violent crimes. I attribute the smaller number in reports to the fact that society expects men to be “strong” and to “handle themselves”. Men are seen to be weak and less worthy, or emasculated by societal standards if a woman has gained an upper hand over them in any way shape or form.

Therefore, men are much less likely to report abuse, let alone domestic abuse.

It has come to my attention, through mutual friends, that this woman was actually -very- violent and abusive to her partner, she had a history of abusing him on a repeated basis. Even after she had –murdered- him, his plight was barely worth a little blurb in a local newspaper.

And yet, had this been a man, who abused, and murdered his partner, I assure you this would have made international news. Feminists would get up on their soap boxes and start hollering to the skies about the inadequate justice system and equality for all- oh wait I mean “equality”, for just women.

Why is this young man, murdered before life could really have begun, any less newsworthy than a battered woman? Can anyone really honestly answer this for me?

Rest in peace Mark.  

Anyone with information about the fatal collision is asked to contact Detective Constable Hendrik Vandercraats at 905-546-4755.

18 ANSWERS OF THE HOLY PROPHET

Salaam Alaikum Warahmatullah, Wabarakatuhu, 

A traveller once came to the mosque to see the prophet Muhammad (S.A.W). After greeting the prophet, he was asked where he came from. The traveller replied that he came from very far just to get a few questions answered.

Following is the dialogue between the traveller and the prophet.

Traveller: I do not want adha’b (punishments) to be written in my account.

Prophet: Behave well with your parents

Traveller: I want to be known amongst people as an intelligent person.

Prophet: Fear Allah always.

Traveller: I want to be counted amongst Allah's favourites.

Prophet: Recite Qur’an every morning and evening.

Traveller: I want my heart to always be enlightened.

Prophet: Never forget death.

Traveller: I never want to be away from Allah's blessing.

Prophet: Always treat fellow creatures well.

Traveller: I never want to be harmed by my enemies.

Prophet: Always have faith in only Allah.

Traveller: I never want to be humiliated.

Prophet: Be careful of your actions.

Traveller: I wish to live long.

Prophet: Always do good towards blood Relations

Traveller: I want my sustenance to increase.

Prophet: Always be in wudhu (ablution).

Traveller: I wish to stay free of adha’b in the grave.

Prophet: Always wear pure clothes.

Traveller: I never want to be burned in hell.

Prophet: Control your eyes and tongue.

Traveller: How do I get my sins forgiven?

Prophet: Always ask forgiveness from Allah with a lot of humility.

Traveller: I want people to respect me always.

Prophet: Never extend your hands of need at people.

Traveller: I want to always be honoured.

Prophet: Never humiliate or put down anyone.

Traveller: I don't want to be squeezed by in the grave.

Prophet: Recite suratul Mulik (The Dominion) often.

Traveller: I want my wealth to increase.

Prophet: Recite suratul Waaqiah (The Inevitable) every night.

Traveller: I want to be safe and at peace on Day of Judgment.

Prophet: Do zikr (Praises) of Allah from dusk to night.

Traveller: I want to be in full attention and concentration during prayers.

Prophet: Always do wudhoo with concentration and attention.

Kindly do forward to all Muhmeen and Muhmeenat! 

Once a man was walking and he read this written on a wall: 

Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem 
Qul Huw-Allahu Ahad 
Allah-us-Samad 
Lam yalid wal lam yulad 
Wa lam yakul lahu kufuwan ahad 

So he sat and read it, while he was reading it a man was watching him and came to him and said 'Do you know that you have got at least 470 hasanat. (Blessings) just for reading this! The person who wrote this on the wall also got 470 hasanat; even I got 470 hasana's just for writing this mail; even you got (who is reading this mail) 470 hasanat. So press forward and let more people get 470 hassanat. Don't forget, each time someone reads this mail and gets hasanat so do you. 

When there is only a single star left in the sky. 
At that very moment, the path of forgiveness will close. 
The writing in the Qur’an will vanish. 
The sun will lower itself with the earth. 

Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said, 'Who ever delivers this news to someone else I will on the Day of Judgment make for him a place in Jannat.' 

Please pass this to every Muslim you know. 

Ma’as’salaam.

Great Idea!

Okay so I was watching this awesome video (Click Here) the other day. And to be honest I was feeling guilty about my conduct as a Muslim lately. It was really eye opening. The woman in the video discusses about how the foundation of your martial relationships should be Allah. And although this is how it started out for me and my soulmate, school and time, and problems became factors and driving us away from that standard.

So we discussed a few options of remembering Allah, together. Now this is a little difficult for us because we are not in the same country right now. But we decided there were some other options that we could use. Some ideas that were thrown out there included:

1. Learning dua with eachother
2. Learning Quran verses together
3. Fasting on either Monday's or Friday's “together” to support eachother etc.

We decided that learning some Quran would be a benifical thing to do. So the plan is for us to learn on word, and it's meaning, every single day. Easy enough right? Then in each week we would have learned approx one verse. Simple. Since we are both not completely native to Arabic it is just enough of a challenge but not too hard.

I just thought this might be a nice idea for couples who are struggling with each other. If you guys would like to try it with your spouse, or even a friend there are two sites that show the Quran, word for word. This site shows the word and when you click on it, the site will recite the word for you. The second site shows the word grammatically, and how it is broken down in this fashion. This is effective and really helpful for anyone learning Quran.

If you would like to learn dua instead I found a nice pdf file that may help as well. 

JazakAllah khair and May Allah make us successful InshaAllah!

Music is one of the ways of the Devil?

I know this is a highly debated and disputed matter among Muslims, and even other religions, although I think Islam is the only religion with a stanch opinion about music. I just wanted to share this really intriguing story someone shared with my about a famous violinist. For brevity's sake I'm going post part of this Wikipedia article.

"The Violin Sonata in G minor, more famously known as theDevil's Trill Sonata is a famous work for solo violin (with figured bass accompaniment) by Giuseppe Tartini (1692–1770), famous for being extremely technically demanding, even today.

The story behind "Devil's Trill" starts with a dream. Tartini allegedly told the French astronomer Jérôme Lalande that he dreamed that The Devil appeared to him and asked to be his servant. At the end of their lessons Tartini handed the devil his violin to test his skill—the devil immediately began to play with such virtuosity that Tartini felt his breath taken away. The complete story is told by Tartini himself in Lalande'sVoyage d'un François en Italie (1765 - 66):

"One night, in the year 1713 I dreamed I had made a pact with the devil for my soul. Everything went as I wished: my new servant anticipated my every desire. Among other things, I gave him my violin to see if he could play. How great was my astonishment on hearing a sonata so wonderful and so beautiful, played with such great art and intelligence, as I had never even conceived in my boldest flights of fantasy. I felt enraptured, transported, enchanted: my breath failed me, and - I awoke. I immediately grasped my violin in order to retain, in part at least, the impression of my dream. In vain! The music which I at this time composed is indeed the best that I ever wrote, and I still call it the "Devil's Trill", but the difference between it and that which so moved me is so great that I would have destroyed my instrument and have said farewell to music forever if it had been possible for me to live without the enjoyment it affords me.""

This piece is a famous and spectacular piece, and is still very complicated for people to preform even today. It was also what drove Tartini to his maddness... In the end he expresses himself very clearly when mentioning the cost of what he sold was not worth the thrill of this devils trill, he was forever changed.

1) The Devil is apparently very good at music. (As it was said, Tartini asked The Devil, " Could you write me a sonata?" And The Devil replied, "It would be the easiest thing in the world."

If we are going to take a religious perspective on this we could learn a few things.

2) The Devil is skilled with seducing the weak.

3) It is really a stupid idea to sell yourself for wordly pleasures, The Dunya doesn't last forever guys.

4) Music can be intense, and does manipulate emotions, if you don't believe me watch the video. Click here.

5) We should be aware of who we make alliances with.

6) We should overall become cautious around music and how it effects our emotions. You don't have to believe its evil to know it can be dangerous.

Am I Part Of This World?

Have you ever wondered if you wanna be part of this world anymore?

What I mean by that is, have you ever felt like keeping to yourself and your family; only concerning yourself with your work and leisure. This would embody itself these days as someone who wasn't really concerned with Occupy Wall Street, not really keeping up with the unjust massacre in Libya at the hands of Obama, and not really worried about the social programs in your community, volunteering, giving back, etc.

The reason I ask is, my mother has come to the conclusion, now in her later life, that she doesn't want to be an active member of the world anymore. Her biggest worries are her soaps, her income, and to a degree her children. When I questioned her about this, she concluded a few things about how I live me life in her answer. She told me, I shouldn't worry so much about my friends, cause they would never worry that much about me, and that I was wasting my time trying to help others, when I had trouble helping myself in other areas. Essentially, “No one ever gave me anything, if anything they made my life harder, so I'm done 'giving back'”. Granted, she makes a really good point- people friggin suck.

This left me wondering, and feeling kinda fatalistic about my life up until this point. This lead me to wonder, if I really wanted to care anymore? While going into my old bedroom, I happened upon a photo album accidentally while searching for a pillow. In it I found some letters that had been given to me during a really troubling time in my life. I will post some captions from the creative cards that were given to me by this teacher. She had been a student teacher somewhere in the school when I was in grade five and I took a really strong liking to her.

“Thank you for the flower! You brightened my day! You are so special.
Your friend, Mrs. Woods”

“You are so wonderful! Thank you for the chocolate and wine gums- all my

favourites! You have been such a good friend to me and brought me joy and

encouragement. You are a very special person and I think you will find some nice friends in middle school. I am glad to have met you. And I will not forget you. You are the best!

♥ Mrs. Woods”

These words came and a really hard time in my life; the beatings at home were getting more intense as I got older, and I was supremely depressed. I was also being bullied heavily and could find no way to get my wardrobe to please the other children. No one had ever appreciated me, or ever believed that I could be more than a punching bag. This was the first person to really tell me the truth about myself, and I believed her. She didn't need to do that for me, and I am ETERNALLY grateful for the many other cards like this that she had made just for me. For the first time, I was proud of myself.

Finding these again really struck a cord in my fatalistic thinking. Just because people have not cared for us, doesn't justify us not caring for others. If we are all never going to give back to our communities, how do we expect things to grow? Do we just never change and all become individualistic? It's not a really strong justification for denying a service to someone that you can provide.

On a wider world scale, I'm going to use the example of my Hero, the late Malcolm X. Can you imagine a black man growing up in 20's? His father was assassinated by the KKK, and his mother soon after was institutionalized because of the stress of being a homeless single mother caused her to crack. Malcolm was then separated from his siblings and put in foster care where his education was neglected. Even though he was an exceptional student his teacher encouraged him to become a carpenter, cause simply put, “black folk” just didn't do the same kinda jobs as “white folk”. He then turned to drugs, and hustling. He was a brilliant mind, even as a hustler and managed to evade the law all the way till his 20's. He was then granted 10 years in prison, not so much because of the robbery he was caught for, but more so because he'd been sleeping with a married white woman.

Now at this point in his life, almost illiterate, poor, abused, and off to prison for 10 years. What had the world really given to Malcolm? Not much!

And yet, this man changed the face of America drastically, and altered the history of blacks, and Muslims, on this continent. Working with Martin Luther King, and the like, in his later(and wiser) years, he managed to propelling the civil rights movement in a drastic way. After leaving the sect of Islam and accepting traditional Islam he saw that there was a serious political problem presenting his people. He then spear headed the movement of taking the gruesome abuse of America on blacks to the United Nations; a revolutionary move. No one had ever considered that blacks deserved human rights up until then, and not many were educating other Afro-Americans that it was OKAY to even be -black-.

Although Malcolm had to overcome intense obstacles, such as drug withdraw, teaching himself how to read and write on his own, educating himself about the world around him, and how his people even became slaves.

Simply put, no one ever gave this man anything, and yet he gave his life (literally, he was assassinated at the age of 39.) for his people, and contributed greatly to the world around us, and civil rights, human rights, human FREEDOMS.

Frankly, I wouldn't want to know what the world would be like if he, and MANY other -soldiers- like him (Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, etc.) had been so exceptionally -selfish- to only want to be concerned with themselves.

So I implore you. Give back. Love. Help. Grow. Change this world. No one else is going to do it for us!

Barriers for leaving abuse

I felt compelled by my last post to point out the immense barriers for leaving abuse so that people would stop judging people who stay in an abusive relationship, their are so -many- obstacles to safety that no one ever consideres. InshaAllah the blog will also address how to surpass these issues in the future. If you are needing help now call your local women's shelter, or local/national crisis hotline.

1.Shame and embarrassment: She may feel that she has brought the abuse on herself.

She may feel ashamed of her abuser and of herself. Social and cultural ethics about leaving may shape her decision based on the misguided advice of family and friends. In many cultures it is a complete and utter shame to even consider leaving a man who almost breaks your skull open every afternoon because you married him and now you have to deal with him.

2.Hopelessness: Due to psychological conditioning and the ensuing belief that the abuse

is her fault, leaving may not even occur to her as an option. The abuser generally breaks her into the mold of who he wants her to be and teaches her what to think. Many of these things shes taught go along the lines of, worthlessness, uselessness, powerlessness, and inability to succeed at anything.

3. Fear: Women can fear what the abuser will do if she leaves. She may fear retaliation

by the abuser, fear losing her children, or fear that her family, friends, possessions

and/or pets will be harmed. Women are often threatened severe threats by their partners regarding the above and give her a few beatings as well to make sure she gets the picture. It is often the case that family members will only assist the abuser and convince the victim to come back. There is always the fear that the sweet talking husband could convince Children's Aid that she is a bad mother.

4. Inaccessibility of social services: She may have tried to leave in the past, only to find

that there were waiting lists for counseling, shelters and other services. Sometimes women are even taxied out of their neighboring city, away from their support systems, because there is simply no room in the shelters.

5. Lack of access to adequate or affordable shelter and housing: The woman may not

have anywhere to go with her children if she leaves the relationship. There may not be a shelter in her community, or the shelter may not have adequate space. Often times women will get into a shelter and realize that they will be forced to pay market rent until subsidized housing can be found. This is almost impossible when you have children to feed on a small income, or in some cases the woman has no income at all.

6. Financial obstacles: There may be financial obstacles to leaving the relationship and

concern that she will be unable to provide for her children. She may be financially

dependent on the abuser, and may have little or no income, and limited work

experience, making it difficult for her to find employment. There may be the issue of divorce costs, an dividing up the house.

7. Family: Her family may pressure her to stay in the relationship. They may pressure her to work out the problems in the relationship and encourage her to believe that her

partner will change if she can fulfill some magic desire of his. They may have an altered view of the situation because of their own ideals, and push them upon her. They may not wanna take care of her, or have the responsibility of defending her actions to the community at large, which can be very ignorant and unhelpful.

8. Isolation: The abuser may have isolated her from family and friends. She may therefore have little support to leave the relationship. She may be surrounded by people who deny that the abuse is happening or who minimize it. The abuser will often cause her to fight with her family early on in the relationship so that she has no where to go when she needs to leave him. He see's any empowering loving family as a threat that must be taken care of.

9. Providing for children: Often times women will have to move the child's school repeatedly until they find a home. With a limited income the neighborhood the woman is forced to move into and the schools that are available may not be the best. In addition to this she may not be able to feed or cloth them on a limited income while paying bills and seeking counseling for all family members.

10. Immigration Status: Abusers will often threaten the woman with deportation and separation from their family and friends.

11. Mental Disorders: It may be hard for a woman to leave a relationship if she has depression of is bi-polar, or really has to deal with any other external factor that may change her judgment. Any formal diagnosis is always the husband's scapegoat for her acting 'crazy' and can be used against her in a custody battle. On the other end if a woman's partner suffers from a disorder it may be hard to decipher what actions are within his control and which actions are the disorder. There is often that sense of guilt for leaving him because upon his formal diagnosis it is his excuse for all of his negative behaviors.

12. Ideals of marriage: 'You made your bed, now lay in it.' Often times women are made to believe they deserve to be locked in an unloving relationship because she wasn't able to read his mind prior to marriage an see his ulterior motives. She is madec to feel like she caused this so she has to live with it for the rest of her life, despite the strife she feels and the effects it will have on her children.

13. Wanting to raise children in a two parent home: Many believe that raising their children with two parents is better, even if the partnership has some negative effects on the children.

14. Reaching out: Reaching out in the first place is such a difficult thing to do. There is a stigma against any counseling or support groups, and it is often hard to admit in the first place that you have a problem, because then you have to take on the task of fixing it. Sometimes when we do reach out to organizations the staff we get are not so supportive or understanding, and this can really hinder a woman's ability to leave.

15. Not realizing abuse: Often times we have no idea that we are even the victims of abuse. Society as a whole seems to think that if its not physical, its not abuse. For many of us we were raised with abusive parents and siblings, and learn that these behaviors are acceptable from those who 'love' us. I encourage everyone to check out a standard Power and Control Wheel or to read the epic book Why Does He Do That? For more information on these issues.

God be with you if you need support.