Family Feuds

Family Feuds suck! 

As salam alekum wa ruhmutAllahi wa baraktu

Sigh. We've all got one in the family. That one person that you wish would just jump off a cliff because they are forever stirring the family pot. In some cases you have a few of them! Others, like mine, you kinda feel left out cause everyone's fighting with someone and you can't visit or talk to certain people because of the long complex chain of loyalty. Don't get me wrong loyalty is something I value, very deeply. I'm much more loyal to my brother than my step sisters, because he's earned it! But it just sucks because it the kids that suffer. It's my nieces and nephews that suffer in this equation. Yes we have plenty of "bad guys" in our families, but what about the innocent ones?

I miss my nieces and nephews :(. And my cousins too. And their parents. Esp. the cousins that were innocent in all this. But they have loyalties to keep too.

I once did an awesome project about the Hatfields and the McCoy family. It was crazy interesting reading through their history and seeing what had happened over the years. But it was sad because it all started over a misunderstanding about a pig. This family feud was famous for its irregular dysfuntionality and how a pig could cause bloodshed. 

Whats even more sad is I've heard of worse things people have fought over. Frankly I think it is disgusting, that some people just act, without thinking and sabatoge the family without caring what will happen. And even more disgusting is when we hold grudges that we just need to get over, it doesn't beifit us in the end.

Allah tells us:

"And stay quietly in your houses, and make not a dazzling display, like that of the former Times of Ignorance; and establish regular Prayer, and give regular Charity; and obey Allah and His Messenger. And Allah only wishes to remove all abomination from you, ye members of the Family, and to make you pure and spotless." - Quran 33:33

When people gossiping and plotting against family it shows they have no concept of al akhirah (judgment after death). These people don't fear Allah now, and his punishment later on. I mean is it really worth it? Just to stick it to them, or to hold that grudge? Is it worth missing out on the blessings of Allah? Is it worth incurring the Rath(!) of Allah?!

I think the first remedy to the crisis of the ummah is to start within our own homes. To encourage our family members to hold fast to the pillars of this beautiful deen, to pray, to give zakat(annual charity). Let us forgive, let us guide, and I know it can be HARD sometimes, but make du'ah for them. Even if they have ruined everything for you, forgive them and Allah will forgive you. Break down the walls of ignorance in your home. Bring the heart a little closer, as Allah intended! Ameen. 

May Allah guide us all and keep us from this JAHIL(ignorant) behaviour. Ameen.