Who Really Loves You?

As salam alekum wa ruhmutAllahi wa barakatu

“Yilly be7abak babkeek, willy beda7kuk, bedu7hik 3lake.”

My mom said this phrase to me today, and it just clicked in my head so profoundly. Granted it sounds better in Arabic, but I think we can all appreciate the translation. “The one who loves you makes you cry, and the one who laughs with you laughs at you (or at your expense)". Now ain't that the truth.

What use is the person who makes you laugh all the time and in turn really only ends up feeding your nafs (center of desires). That is not where true love lies. Those who love you will push the truth into your face whether you like it or not, because its important, and that's the only thing that will benefit you in the end. A true friend doesn't just make you feel good about your situation, a true friend calls you a lazy whiner, if that's what you are. "It is not my job to make you feel good, its my job to make you live up to your potential", said my brother.

Granted friends shouldn't put you down either, or make accusations and assumptions. They should comfort you and make you feel good about yourself when you are down, give you a few inspiring talks. That being said, when this fails, its time to bust out reality.

And there are some people on this planet that I just cannot stand! They make me so angry sometimes that I can't even form sentences. But deep down I love them, because they mean well, and because they want to see me be better, think better, aspire to be better. I can appreciate that sometimes they aren't the most articulate people, and can often be rude or short tempered; I can be a frustrating person. But I know that they mean well, and once I have calmed down I can collect my thoughts and try to sort out what I need to do.

The one thing about advice that we don't like is that sometimes it just doesn't click. I've been faced with that a lot lately. I have been given so much “advice” lately that I thought my head was going to implode. With so many people telling me about what is wrong with me, you can imagine I was pissed right off for weeks. But lately I've come to the realization that I really do need to get things together, and that these problems do exist. I can be lazy, I'm stubborn as a camel, hot tempered once you get me going, and sometimes inappropriately harsh.

That is something I can appreciate. Despite how these messages were conveyed (trust me it wasn't sugar coated or kind at all) I learned something about myself, and now I can be a better person because of it. We all need to shove our pride deep into the ground and be a little more patient when receiving advice, because after all most people don't actually like flipping out, or hurting your feelings. Therefore, if someone cares about they will stress themselves out, and you to get the message across.

Take care everyone <3