Music is one of the ways of the Devil?

I know this is a highly debated and disputed matter among Muslims, and even other religions, although I think Islam is the only religion with a stanch opinion about music. I just wanted to share this really intriguing story someone shared with my about a famous violinist. For brevity's sake I'm going post part of this Wikipedia article.

"The Violin Sonata in G minor, more famously known as theDevil's Trill Sonata is a famous work for solo violin (with figured bass accompaniment) by Giuseppe Tartini (1692–1770), famous for being extremely technically demanding, even today.

The story behind "Devil's Trill" starts with a dream. Tartini allegedly told the French astronomer Jérôme Lalande that he dreamed that The Devil appeared to him and asked to be his servant. At the end of their lessons Tartini handed the devil his violin to test his skill—the devil immediately began to play with such virtuosity that Tartini felt his breath taken away. The complete story is told by Tartini himself in Lalande'sVoyage d'un François en Italie (1765 - 66):

"One night, in the year 1713 I dreamed I had made a pact with the devil for my soul. Everything went as I wished: my new servant anticipated my every desire. Among other things, I gave him my violin to see if he could play. How great was my astonishment on hearing a sonata so wonderful and so beautiful, played with such great art and intelligence, as I had never even conceived in my boldest flights of fantasy. I felt enraptured, transported, enchanted: my breath failed me, and - I awoke. I immediately grasped my violin in order to retain, in part at least, the impression of my dream. In vain! The music which I at this time composed is indeed the best that I ever wrote, and I still call it the "Devil's Trill", but the difference between it and that which so moved me is so great that I would have destroyed my instrument and have said farewell to music forever if it had been possible for me to live without the enjoyment it affords me.""

This piece is a famous and spectacular piece, and is still very complicated for people to preform even today. It was also what drove Tartini to his maddness... In the end he expresses himself very clearly when mentioning the cost of what he sold was not worth the thrill of this devils trill, he was forever changed.

1) The Devil is apparently very good at music. (As it was said, Tartini asked The Devil, " Could you write me a sonata?" And The Devil replied, "It would be the easiest thing in the world."

If we are going to take a religious perspective on this we could learn a few things.

2) The Devil is skilled with seducing the weak.

3) It is really a stupid idea to sell yourself for wordly pleasures, The Dunya doesn't last forever guys.

4) Music can be intense, and does manipulate emotions, if you don't believe me watch the video. Click here.

5) We should be aware of who we make alliances with.

6) We should overall become cautious around music and how it effects our emotions. You don't have to believe its evil to know it can be dangerous.

Am I Part Of This World?

Have you ever wondered if you wanna be part of this world anymore?

What I mean by that is, have you ever felt like keeping to yourself and your family; only concerning yourself with your work and leisure. This would embody itself these days as someone who wasn't really concerned with Occupy Wall Street, not really keeping up with the unjust massacre in Libya at the hands of Obama, and not really worried about the social programs in your community, volunteering, giving back, etc.

The reason I ask is, my mother has come to the conclusion, now in her later life, that she doesn't want to be an active member of the world anymore. Her biggest worries are her soaps, her income, and to a degree her children. When I questioned her about this, she concluded a few things about how I live me life in her answer. She told me, I shouldn't worry so much about my friends, cause they would never worry that much about me, and that I was wasting my time trying to help others, when I had trouble helping myself in other areas. Essentially, “No one ever gave me anything, if anything they made my life harder, so I'm done 'giving back'”. Granted, she makes a really good point- people friggin suck.

This left me wondering, and feeling kinda fatalistic about my life up until this point. This lead me to wonder, if I really wanted to care anymore? While going into my old bedroom, I happened upon a photo album accidentally while searching for a pillow. In it I found some letters that had been given to me during a really troubling time in my life. I will post some captions from the creative cards that were given to me by this teacher. She had been a student teacher somewhere in the school when I was in grade five and I took a really strong liking to her.

“Thank you for the flower! You brightened my day! You are so special.
Your friend, Mrs. Woods”

“You are so wonderful! Thank you for the chocolate and wine gums- all my

favourites! You have been such a good friend to me and brought me joy and

encouragement. You are a very special person and I think you will find some nice friends in middle school. I am glad to have met you. And I will not forget you. You are the best!

♥ Mrs. Woods”

These words came and a really hard time in my life; the beatings at home were getting more intense as I got older, and I was supremely depressed. I was also being bullied heavily and could find no way to get my wardrobe to please the other children. No one had ever appreciated me, or ever believed that I could be more than a punching bag. This was the first person to really tell me the truth about myself, and I believed her. She didn't need to do that for me, and I am ETERNALLY grateful for the many other cards like this that she had made just for me. For the first time, I was proud of myself.

Finding these again really struck a cord in my fatalistic thinking. Just because people have not cared for us, doesn't justify us not caring for others. If we are all never going to give back to our communities, how do we expect things to grow? Do we just never change and all become individualistic? It's not a really strong justification for denying a service to someone that you can provide.

On a wider world scale, I'm going to use the example of my Hero, the late Malcolm X. Can you imagine a black man growing up in 20's? His father was assassinated by the KKK, and his mother soon after was institutionalized because of the stress of being a homeless single mother caused her to crack. Malcolm was then separated from his siblings and put in foster care where his education was neglected. Even though he was an exceptional student his teacher encouraged him to become a carpenter, cause simply put, “black folk” just didn't do the same kinda jobs as “white folk”. He then turned to drugs, and hustling. He was a brilliant mind, even as a hustler and managed to evade the law all the way till his 20's. He was then granted 10 years in prison, not so much because of the robbery he was caught for, but more so because he'd been sleeping with a married white woman.

Now at this point in his life, almost illiterate, poor, abused, and off to prison for 10 years. What had the world really given to Malcolm? Not much!

And yet, this man changed the face of America drastically, and altered the history of blacks, and Muslims, on this continent. Working with Martin Luther King, and the like, in his later(and wiser) years, he managed to propelling the civil rights movement in a drastic way. After leaving the sect of Islam and accepting traditional Islam he saw that there was a serious political problem presenting his people. He then spear headed the movement of taking the gruesome abuse of America on blacks to the United Nations; a revolutionary move. No one had ever considered that blacks deserved human rights up until then, and not many were educating other Afro-Americans that it was OKAY to even be -black-.

Although Malcolm had to overcome intense obstacles, such as drug withdraw, teaching himself how to read and write on his own, educating himself about the world around him, and how his people even became slaves.

Simply put, no one ever gave this man anything, and yet he gave his life (literally, he was assassinated at the age of 39.) for his people, and contributed greatly to the world around us, and civil rights, human rights, human FREEDOMS.

Frankly, I wouldn't want to know what the world would be like if he, and MANY other -soldiers- like him (Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, etc.) had been so exceptionally -selfish- to only want to be concerned with themselves.

So I implore you. Give back. Love. Help. Grow. Change this world. No one else is going to do it for us!

Barriers for leaving abuse

I felt compelled by my last post to point out the immense barriers for leaving abuse so that people would stop judging people who stay in an abusive relationship, their are so -many- obstacles to safety that no one ever consideres. InshaAllah the blog will also address how to surpass these issues in the future. If you are needing help now call your local women's shelter, or local/national crisis hotline.

1.Shame and embarrassment: She may feel that she has brought the abuse on herself.

She may feel ashamed of her abuser and of herself. Social and cultural ethics about leaving may shape her decision based on the misguided advice of family and friends. In many cultures it is a complete and utter shame to even consider leaving a man who almost breaks your skull open every afternoon because you married him and now you have to deal with him.

2.Hopelessness: Due to psychological conditioning and the ensuing belief that the abuse

is her fault, leaving may not even occur to her as an option. The abuser generally breaks her into the mold of who he wants her to be and teaches her what to think. Many of these things shes taught go along the lines of, worthlessness, uselessness, powerlessness, and inability to succeed at anything.

3. Fear: Women can fear what the abuser will do if she leaves. She may fear retaliation

by the abuser, fear losing her children, or fear that her family, friends, possessions

and/or pets will be harmed. Women are often threatened severe threats by their partners regarding the above and give her a few beatings as well to make sure she gets the picture. It is often the case that family members will only assist the abuser and convince the victim to come back. There is always the fear that the sweet talking husband could convince Children's Aid that she is a bad mother.

4. Inaccessibility of social services: She may have tried to leave in the past, only to find

that there were waiting lists for counseling, shelters and other services. Sometimes women are even taxied out of their neighboring city, away from their support systems, because there is simply no room in the shelters.

5. Lack of access to adequate or affordable shelter and housing: The woman may not

have anywhere to go with her children if she leaves the relationship. There may not be a shelter in her community, or the shelter may not have adequate space. Often times women will get into a shelter and realize that they will be forced to pay market rent until subsidized housing can be found. This is almost impossible when you have children to feed on a small income, or in some cases the woman has no income at all.

6. Financial obstacles: There may be financial obstacles to leaving the relationship and

concern that she will be unable to provide for her children. She may be financially

dependent on the abuser, and may have little or no income, and limited work

experience, making it difficult for her to find employment. There may be the issue of divorce costs, an dividing up the house.

7. Family: Her family may pressure her to stay in the relationship. They may pressure her to work out the problems in the relationship and encourage her to believe that her

partner will change if she can fulfill some magic desire of his. They may have an altered view of the situation because of their own ideals, and push them upon her. They may not wanna take care of her, or have the responsibility of defending her actions to the community at large, which can be very ignorant and unhelpful.

8. Isolation: The abuser may have isolated her from family and friends. She may therefore have little support to leave the relationship. She may be surrounded by people who deny that the abuse is happening or who minimize it. The abuser will often cause her to fight with her family early on in the relationship so that she has no where to go when she needs to leave him. He see's any empowering loving family as a threat that must be taken care of.

9. Providing for children: Often times women will have to move the child's school repeatedly until they find a home. With a limited income the neighborhood the woman is forced to move into and the schools that are available may not be the best. In addition to this she may not be able to feed or cloth them on a limited income while paying bills and seeking counseling for all family members.

10. Immigration Status: Abusers will often threaten the woman with deportation and separation from their family and friends.

11. Mental Disorders: It may be hard for a woman to leave a relationship if she has depression of is bi-polar, or really has to deal with any other external factor that may change her judgment. Any formal diagnosis is always the husband's scapegoat for her acting 'crazy' and can be used against her in a custody battle. On the other end if a woman's partner suffers from a disorder it may be hard to decipher what actions are within his control and which actions are the disorder. There is often that sense of guilt for leaving him because upon his formal diagnosis it is his excuse for all of his negative behaviors.

12. Ideals of marriage: 'You made your bed, now lay in it.' Often times women are made to believe they deserve to be locked in an unloving relationship because she wasn't able to read his mind prior to marriage an see his ulterior motives. She is madec to feel like she caused this so she has to live with it for the rest of her life, despite the strife she feels and the effects it will have on her children.

13. Wanting to raise children in a two parent home: Many believe that raising their children with two parents is better, even if the partnership has some negative effects on the children.

14. Reaching out: Reaching out in the first place is such a difficult thing to do. There is a stigma against any counseling or support groups, and it is often hard to admit in the first place that you have a problem, because then you have to take on the task of fixing it. Sometimes when we do reach out to organizations the staff we get are not so supportive or understanding, and this can really hinder a woman's ability to leave.

15. Not realizing abuse: Often times we have no idea that we are even the victims of abuse. Society as a whole seems to think that if its not physical, its not abuse. For many of us we were raised with abusive parents and siblings, and learn that these behaviors are acceptable from those who 'love' us. I encourage everyone to check out a standard Power and Control Wheel or to read the epic book Why Does He Do That? For more information on these issues.

God be with you if you need support.

A Word, of Hope.

A word of hope

From the depths of a tortured life, I desperately have swam through the ocean of tears, born from heart. And like a phoenix rising from the ashes I will prevail.

Many of you may have noticed my lack of blogging for the past two years. Life(and ofc Allah) sometimes has other plans for us and we have nothing to do but move with the current and make the best of it. As a victim of abuse, I have cried many tears, I have hurt myself and others, I have delayed my needs and sabotaged healthy relationships to try and cope with my heartache. I have mourned for the little girl I used to be, and all the rights that were stolen from her at such a young age. I mourn for the adolescence that was shadowed with confusion. I have wept for the remainder that still bleeds into my adulthood.

And yet, I smile. I laugh, I strive. I am strong. What is shrouded in darkness will always come to light, and the truth, cannot be hidden, justice is served, and love can be found.

Grief is an amazing thing because it is intense, and involved, but once you do it, its over, and you can move on. I have now been left for years, without any semblance of closure for the abuse I experienced as a child, and as time went by only more abuse was piled on. I have been carrying around a deep hate and fear of “love” from a seriously tender young age. It had not occurred to me ever to grieve. I was taught emotion was a bad, terrible thing that should never happen. And often times I refrained from even showing emotion at home because it would be later used against me. Anything I enjoyed was taken and anything I disliked was increased. Eventually, emotions stopped being an option, so I would internalize everything, and feel nothing. Numb on the surface, and suffocating deep inside. I felt encased in life, in time, in breath. So here I am, 21 years old, going to counseling 3 times a week, when I realize, crying actually makes me feel better. Letting go, in a safe, appropriate environment, helps. It was never safe before and so it never happened.

The crying is always intense these days, and I often need to call someone for support to stabilize myself, and my negative thinking, but there is a joyful feeling when the grieving is over. As though I carried mountains of selfishness, and hate, and compensation, and apology and oppression within me for at least a decade, and finally a severe volcanic eruption purged my soul of the deepest fires of hell. The hellish reality that was my existence. Soon after the clouds of ash dissipate and I am left to feel the shine of the gracious Sun on my face. My soul grows, and I understand the purpose of Allah's plan, and why I must bare this burden.

Some people say, be careful what you wish for, and others don't understand God's purpose. When you ask Allah for strength, he gives you something hard to make you strong. When you ask to be more patient, he gives you an impossible situation to battle. In other words, if you wanna run a marathon, you better get your energy drink and your sneakers. This, is life.

My passion in life is to help. To help others with the impossibility life can be. I have been told, I excel in this area, and can truly help those I see suffering. I do not owe this ability to anything or anyone but Allah. He has blessed me with the knowledge of this world, and how to overcome it, and -that- is why I can do what I do. So I no longer ask, why? Why? Why? Why? Had I not been brutally whipped as a child, or beaten, or tormented mentally on several levels, or treated like a sexual object, I would not be who I am. I would not be able to hold the weight of my brothers and sisters in humanity, and I would be completely unable to relate to the strife of being so degraded on a consistent basis. I would not, be me. And through the great leaps of life I have learned to love me. And I have learned when it is safe to let others “love” me. As a wise woman once said said so articulately; I will remove the scarlet letters from my chest, and take the hand of the little girl I used to be, and I will wait for a man to come along, who can give me the -truth- of how much, he can really love me. -Miss Mayda De Valle.

Healing is not, never feeling the pain anymore. Not feeling the pain is repressing and bottling the hurt inside of you, letting it harbor into a polluted mess. These days, I cry daily, and I have never been happier in my life. I have been more scared than ever because I've stopped avoiding my fears, and yet I rest easier. You want strength? Step up to the plate, and **ask for help**.

The very hardest thing for me was realizing I -could not- do it alone. It was not possible. Trusting someone else with my feelings, my love, my reality, was by far more trying than anything else. There is a satisfaction gained when you learn to trust yourself though, and stop second guessing.

For those of you who understand. You are strong, you have held your pain inside your souls for so long. Be brave enough to let it out now. Have faith in The Creator, and Controller of All. Have faith in the one dealing the cards of your life, and make the best of the Hand he deals you. Even if getting out of bed in the morning is your biggest problem, you are a CHAMP for doing it. Doesn't matter how hard the challenge seems, if it's a challenge, and you are trying (even if you aren't necessarily succeeding) you are a hero. Bold, and BRAVE. Give yourself the credit you deserve.

This is my word of hope to you, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just take off the blindfold.

Leaving Abuse and It's Stigmas

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jozh6/could_you_stay_in_a_relationship_where_the/

SubhanAllah. I'm really disgusted by people who can blame her for not leaving sooner! They were probably the same people who would have blamed her if she left. As someone who has run from an abusive home, I understand fully the many barriers that lay upon a woman, and anyone with children has it much worse. I honestly am saddened, because although the barriers reach the sky, its possible to leave, she could be alive now but she didnt have a group like us, and I'm so heart broken about that.

Please check out the Facebook Online Muslimah Abuse Support Group for other women with like ideas to help you out!

I was asked if I had any advice for women battling the stigmas of others.

I put it in my mind that I was right about my decision to leave, and just didnt let anyone sway me. No matter the crazy inventive things people have said, excuses, stories, I hold fast to the fact that I was being abused and needed a safe place, cause I -deserve- that.

I had people ask me why I left, and I refused to divulge because people are ignorant about what abuse is, and wouldnt understand to begin with what its like to be literally tortured with the games people play. The response to that was often, 'Well I dont believe it was that bad.' And to that I say, 'Good for you' and move on with my day, unphased by their ignorance, because at the end of the day -I- and only -I- has a true knowledge of whats best for -me-, and no one else has the right to make that decision for me, or tell me to make another decision.

My mom will always say 'What will the people say about what your doing?' and my reply is 'Well screw the people!' and I can hold fast to that too. Sorry for the language but thats how I feel. For the little group of Arabs gossiping at Jummah, is that who imma live my life for? Is it? I stand with the believers of compassion, justice, respect, the true submitters of Allahs will, and no one else.

And even then, unfortunately I feel like I have to educate my community, my Imam is so disgustingly ignorant, God help him, its not his fault, but its hurtful to go to his office and have him give 'advice' that basically puts me in the line of danger. I maintain that anyone who tries to control you is dangerous, its not natural, and its a serious mental diffiencey to wanna control something outside you. Anyone who going to beat fear and submission into my can go fly the highest kite.

In short. Just never second guess yourself. Take a look at the 'Power Control Wheel', google it. See what abuse you fit into, most of us dont even realize it is abuse. Decide for yourself that you deserve better, and never look back.

Another reason why I don't get Christianity

As salam alekum wa ruhmutAllahi wa barakatu

I'm going to write about this against my better judgment, simply cause I cannot understand this

whatsoever, here is a picture, one of many, that confuses and angers me a fair bit. I intially came across this cause I was wondering how Moses peace be upon him felt upon meeting his Lord for the first time, and sought out a visual aid. I come across one picture similar to this, and then another, and another, and another, and another. I am confused and then suddenly angered.

As you can see this picture displays Moses bowing to his Lord as the story goes, but what interests me is how his Lord is depicted. I know Christian theology states that Jesus and God are one and the same, and that has always confused me, but now I'm struck with another question.

How the hell did Jesus come down and speak to Moses when he wasn't even conceived yet?!

You'd think that would be the first thing someone would think of when drawing something like this but apparently not! Jesus isn't even alive at this point in history, and has no human form. But as always Christians change what the Bible actually said to serve their own purposes. And while we are on the subject of Christians making things up; SINCE WHEN DID JESUS OR MOSES BECOME WHITE? These are SEMETIC people they are almost BLACK. I can't help but find this just stupid that somehow God is white -_-. And in addition to this Moses had a beard! He was -not- a clean shaven man! What the hell.

I think the most disappointing illustration was the one where God/Jesus looks like an angel. I just had to facepalm at that one. I have no remedy for that level of stupidity, and I honestly wonder why God hasn't smote us all by now.

The last picture I have here is the only accurate one that can be found, which is so disappointing. So utterly sad, for once, Google has failed me.

Such Is Life

Salam alekum wa ruhmutAllahi wa barakatu

I remember when I was about 16, a friend confessed to me she'd been depressed cause a close friend of hers had died a while back. At the time I felt so insanely sad for her. It was the worst possible thing I could have imagined that could happen and we were both taken aback by such a sad scenario.

Now I stand back and look at us both, five years later, filled with such fitna and distress. And yet we handle each new disappointment remarkably well. I'm curious as to when pain and destruction had become so common place, so routine. I wonder when it actually was when the world completely crushed our longing youthful souls, and made us into adults. I wonder if that's healthy. I wonder if we will ever dream as we did before. Not that our expectations of the world were so great either. Just wanting some love, a little respect once and a while from the ones we loved, only to return empty handed, burdened once more with someone else's problems.

The past few months my heart has broken more times than I can imagine, and yet I felt worse about the death of her friend, and our boy troubles. When did my heart grow so much callas? And do I dare attempt to bare it once again to a vicious world?

Is this what 'adulthood' breeds?

So many questions racing, so little answers, so many more problems to fix. Does it end? Or will death be the final peace? Quiet. Stillness. Love.

All I know is God gave me limbs and a brain, so I will keep walking this path as long as it takes to answer these questions, knowing life is like a good episode of LOST; it answers what you've been dieing to know, but leaves you to wonder about everything else. With each step I find myself more, and yet, I feel more lost than ever before. Such is love I guess. Such is life.

Why protests don't work

As salam alekum wa ruhmutAllahi wa barakatu

America outside of Libya, ready to invade and divide yet another Muslim country.

I think in light of recent events we can all see that this is true. If anyone has followed the protests in Tunis, Egypt, Libya, Bahrain, Yemen, Algeria etc, you will release it hasn't really worked to the benefit of anyone. Tunis' leader my have run away like a chicken from the coop but his government is still in place and the people are still protesting for their basic human rights. Egypt's new government has IRONICALLY made protesting illegal even though that is the system that has put them in place. Why? Because people are still protesting. Why would they do that? No justice has been delivered. Liyba is now headed for a full on scale war, possibly another WW3 with half the world ready to blow it up. And sadly the rest of the countries are just having people massacred by the hundreds, which is especially concentrated in the much ignored Bahrain.

So you ask why does this not work? Well the fact is nothing really gets done unless theirs a resource to be exploited (like the oil in Libya) or unless people start getting hurt in violent protests (as in Egypt) and even then the results are superficial. The more important reason why this system is flawed is because people don't know what they want (or frankly what they need) and are just complaining without direction. The Egyptian revolution was fueled with so much anger and could have achieved anything. As the world watched for a daunting and exhausting month it was released they had no idea what to do. They had no leader, no system, nothing to support, and not they have been GIVEN exactly the opposite of what they wanted.

Case in point, don't complain unless you know what you want and how to get it because forces like America will be inclined to shove something down your throat that you did not expect. Movements with no direction are easy influenced and redirected and therefore are unfruitful.

One of the many mistakes of the Egyptians is that they just exclaimed 'WE WANTED DEMOCRACY' which clearly showed they had no sense of what they want, or frankly what you need(Shariah). If you want democracy then find a leader, set up a party, spread the word, and then march in support of this group. Show that your insane numbers are behind something for the love of God. The mistake here is that they gave Mubarak the chance to turn them down. Alternatively if you find his replacement and support him, then the man has no choice but to step down!

Comparatively think of is this way; if your brother is taking your fist and making you hit yourself over and over, and is not listening when you request you stop, in the event that you are too weak to fight back, so you keep asking him to stop? No. You go call your mom to -make- him stop. There is no sense in asking the dictator for his opinion and giving him the power to turn you down.

In conclusion, protests have no place in the world unless they are going to be done right and do something EFFECTIVELY. I really can't see why the Middle East is up in arms and hasn't learned this lesson yet. InshaAllah maybe we will. Right now we need to fight back! And with a purpose.